I was there, I know what it is like to wait for the next time. I am not a survivor, I don’t want that label, I am free. Free of fear, pain, anger, sadness, guilt, and all the other emotions that were part of my experience. Today, January 16th 2021, I started a Facebook group while knowing that change takes time and also knowing that the first step is the most important one.
Date: 20th January 2021
Freedom To Do Everyday Simple Things.
To have choice
To speak for yourself
To see family and friends
To work
To go for a walk
To use the bathroom
To shower
To wear clothes of your choice
To buy of your choice
To have and to use your own phone
To watch T.V
To socialise
To eat
To cook
To sleep
To be able to shop for food, clothing, etc
To have control of your own money
“Freedom To Live An Independent Life “
Date: 16th April 2021
My Story
I was nineteen when l got married, and within a year, my life had changed for the worst. Having come from a happy home, I could not understand what was happening to me. The drinking, the lies, the excuses, and the violence. This was not how I pictured my life.
We separated several times and each time I always believed him when he said, “I ‘m sorry, it won’t happen again,” but it did for many years to come.
As I got older, I became stronger in myself, and finally found the courage to say “no”, then once and for all, “No”, and we finally separated for the last time.
I spent several years on my own, which was ok as I had a lot of issues that I needed to work through. I have been lucky in that I have found someone that I feel safe with, and while I do think back over the years, I have learned to “let go” of the anger and hatred that had built up inside of me. Sometimes, that was almost as difficult as the bad years, as I was reliving each of those experiences all over again. Yet, I knew I had a choice; give up or have a life.
Some time ago I set up a Facebook group, unsure if it was the right thing to do. I have spent the past few weeks arguing with myself; will I write this story about my experiences or not- it is a short version, but enough for now.
Date: 25th October 2021
My next dilemma was the fear and anxiety surrounding my family and friends as they had little knowledge of what took place. I have kept the Facebook page private as I am not ready to talk to them about it yet. I am working on that as I feel it is another important step in my life. Over the past few months, I have become more aware of my feelings and emotions and the way they have changed. I will not deny that I have moments when I think about the past but as the days and weeks have gone by, I’ve realised that it has been an important part of helping me to move on with my life. Perhaps another person in a bad relationship will come across this and realise that they are not alone.
You are welcome to email me at:
lifeafterdomesticabuse07@gmail.com